


Getting Lost

by abyssalUpwelling



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 01:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1670420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abyssalUpwelling/pseuds/abyssalUpwelling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember when everyone went to Disney World together and John and Karkat got lost from the rest of the group?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the lovely watateas.

(More of a post sburb sort of AU)

 

"John, John, JOHN!"

 

But sadly the boy had already scampered away from the group chasing after dressed up characters, probably from one from his human princess movies. God what a stupid asshole, doesn't he know Dave has them all on a very tight schedule, that you may or may not have forced into his hand and make it look like it was Dave's idea all along so Terezi would go along with it, because heaven forbid she actually listens to you, but Dave did add to the end of the list going to some weird ass dj restaurant at 9 o'clock, so yeah he wasn't slowly down the party train for some idiot who runs after every character he sees.

 

He looked back to the group and no one else seemed to notice that John had scampered off, and he was making some good distance, so Karkat took off after him, finally catching up to him as John was taking out his phone.

 

"Oh hey Karkat!"

 

Karkat then proceeds to take a deep breath and yell the shit out at John for being such a brainless kringlefucking mountain of stupidity for running away like that and how they need to get back to the group before they get to far.

 

"Yeah yeah I just need to get a picture with them."

 

"Who can be so important that you need to get a picture when you can probably just download them off the internet."

 

"Wait no I got an even better idea, why don't you stand next to the princess and <i>I</i> take the picture."

 

"Why the ever loving fuck would I do that?"

 

"Cause then I'll go back to the group, and you can't stop worrying about them leaving us."

 

Karkat mumbles something along the line of <i>fine</i> that was intervened in a long line of curse words and joined John in the picture line.

 

"And Karkat I just don't understand why Disney owns Star Wars, I mean how long have they owned Star Wars, what if the owned it all along it was all some huge conspiracy, and revealing that they own it is like part one of their master plan to take over the world, I mean just think about all the mickeys, they're pretty-"

 

John is cut off by Karkat shoving his goddamn phone in his chest and marching up to the princess rolling his eyes and crossing his arms as John messes around with the phone.

 

"Just take the stupid picture already."

 

John stares at the phone for a minute and presses a few buttons before the stunning realization dawns on him, causing him to blurt out,

 

"Karkat I don't know your password."

 

"OH my fucking god it's-"

 

Then Karkat eyes grow a little big and he runs back to John and takes his phone typing in the password so John can't see, not that John is trying to look over his shoulder to see what he's typing.

 

Karkat sighs and hands the phone back to John, fully unlocked, and walks back to the princess who is slightly amused by the boys.

 

"Say cheese!"

 

"Go fuck yourself."

 

After sending the picture to everyone in Karkat's contact list John hands back his phone and receives a slap in the back of the head from Karkat.

 

"Oh c'mon Karkat it's funny!"

 

"What's so funny about a stupid picture."

 

"Well you see the princess was Belle, and with you in the picture, it's Beauty and the Beast."

 

"I fucking hate you so much."

 

"I know you mean love."

 

And Karkat then follows in suit by turning and storming off in the other direction hoping to return to their group of friends as soon as possible so he doesn't have to deal with any more of John's bullshit, while John is busy laughing at his own bullshit, thinking he's a riot.

 

John runs back up to Karkat, recovered from his laughing, face still slightly red, but that may be due to sunburn since he didn't listen to Rose this morning to put on sunscreen, but hey Karkat is looking a little red to so that means he forget his sunscreen to. You guys can be the sunburn bros. Or maybe cancer bros. Haha cause sunburns lead to cancer and Karkat is like the cancer sign. You thought of the one yourself.

 

While John is busy keeping himself entertained with the thought of sunburns Karkat is internally losing his shit, because everyone seems to not be fucking there.

 

He walked back to exactly where he last saw everyone, and to what a surprise, they were all gone.

 

He was sort of losing his mind right now, trying to figure out where they said they were going to next, something about buzz lightsweep right, yes he's 100% sure Dave talked about blowing lasers up in this bitch to which Terezi laughed at even though it made 0 since, and you probably don't want to go on any rides Terezi's been on because she licks literally everything on the ride. But mostly Dave.

 

Karkat grabs John's hand and makes a running start to the future land section of the magic kingdom, John more or less just derping behind him, not sure how to react because he just disappears all the time and no one ever notices, well Karkat notices and then proceeds to yell at him a lot for being stupid and reckless for disappearing. Man he sure does care. What a great friend.

 

"John can you stop being such a useless bulgefucking piece of garbage and act like a semi-functional living creature for a moment and look for everyone."

 

"Umm I think I saw some candy corn horns standing next to a cool kid in shades back there."

 

"Then why didn't you fucking say anything?!"

 

"I was busy debating which Disney Princess doll I should buy Casey."

 

"Your more concerned with you lizard then getting us back to the group?!"

 

"She's not a lizard she's a polite young lady that was heartbroken that Disney is animalist and would not allow her entry to the park, and being a great father I promised to bring her back a souvenir."

 

"If you're such a great father why did you leave her trapped in your car when you went to Walmart."

 

"Okay that was one time, and Rose took care of Animal Control and everything, and Casey doesn't even remember those 7 hours cause she passed out after the first 30 minutes."

 

"How about we not talk about this and talk about where you saw Dave?"

 

"I think I saw him by the Stitch gift shop."

 

"Okay where the fuck is that."

 

Now this time John takes his hand and leads him through the crowd of people, reaching the shop eventually.

 

And then the two hear the recognizable Strider style of stupidity as some dork challenges the guy in the Goofy costume to a rap battle.

 

The kid walks off saying, "I hope you learned your lesson."

 

John and Karkat run up the kid and shot out Dave, but when he turns around a less than satisfied face falls upon them as some kid in anime shades tilts his head at them.

 

"Looks like we got the wrong Strider Karkat."

 

"I'm going to punch you so hard you won't be able to walk for a week."

 

Dirk walks about the two asking what they're doing there, Karkat says doing your lusus, John laughs really loudly, Dirk said they’re worse than Jane and her goddamn dick jokes, John finally answers the kid's question by saying the kids wanted to show the trolls Disney World, and the Jane had seemed to have come up with the same idea for the three kids who grew up in isolation for their entire lives, and Calliope.

 

"Wait Calliope's here, well that would explain the horns I saw."

 

"God John you can't just assume that they're the troll you're looking for because they have horns that's racist."

 

"I'm not racist!"

 

"I don't know, Strider number two do you think he's racist?"

 

"Gotta agree with alien you’re pretty racist bro."

 

"You both are idiots," and for once John storms off, leaving Karkat to smirk as he watches him go.

 

"So are the two of you like..."

 

"Like what?"

 

"What I'm trying to ask politely is Male Jane available?"

 

Karkat may or may not blush as Dirk asks this replying,

"Of course he is why wouldn't he be?"

 

"Well if he's anything like Jake, which by the way he just stormed off would seem a lot so, I'm pretty sure he's got feelings for you."

 

And then Karkat babbles something incoherent and rushes to catch up to John, while Dirk stands back as Roxy walks back to him handing back one of his credit cards she borrowed so she could by Calliope and herself matching mickey hats, and then buy some ice cream, and then buy the souvenir photos, and then buy the mickey mouse cat toys, then buy 43 more mickey mouse cat toys, and then buy a Tiana dress for Jane, and long story short she might have put him into debt.

 

Karkat finally catches up to John, who smiles upon noticing his cu- nice, he means nice, friend has returned.

 

"So you said they were going to the Buzz Lightyear ride right?"

 

"Something about that."

 

"Well maybe we'll see them in line."

 

"Wouldn't it make more since for use to wait where the ride gets out?"

 

"Yeah, but I sort of want to ride it."

 

"John the world doesn't revolve around you."

 

"Yeah well I made this world so don't I get to do whatever I want."

 

"Well I made you does that mean I get to do whatever the fuck I want with you?"

 

"Ohhhhh, I mean if you feel that way."

 

Then John gets whacked in the head again and told to stop taking everything sexual and the John says stop making your mom sexual and Karkat doesn't really know what that means but knows John's being a little dick and hits him again.

 

"Will you stop that?"

 

"After you stop being a little shit."

 

"I just won't to blow up the evil space aliens."

 

As Karkat is about to raise his hand again, he stop, actually listening to what John is saying.

 

"...Evil space aliens."

 

John then sees he's got him in, and continues to smooth talk his friend as he leads him to the line.

 

"Yeah they put you in these space ships and fly around the galaxy blowing stuff up and even go through a worm hole and shit."

 

"Well, that sounds pretty cool."

 

"Yeah and you're doing it all serving the starfleet, or something, it's pretty hardcore."

 

"I guess we might end up seeing id we wait in line."

 

"That's the spirit!"

 

And that is how John conned Karkat into riding the Buzz Lightyear ride.

 

"Haha looks like I beat your score."

 

"That's only cause you were cheating you shit sponge."

 

"How dare you excuse <i>me</i> of cheating!"

 

"Shut the fuck up you were swiveling the whole car around destroying my focus."

 

"It's all in your mind dude, hey look," John turns to look at the screen where their picture rested, "you look pretty good in the picture, we should get it."

 

"Do I look like I want to spend a shitbaggering amount of money on one stupid picture."

 

"Well I mean we could just take a picture of it with your phone."

 

"Oh yeah."

 

As Karkat takes out his phone John sort of just stares at him, and after the picture Karkat turns to John and snaps, "What?" And John replies,

"Why didn't you just call to ask where they were?"

 

And Karkat answers,

"Fuck."

 

But as Karkat goes to call Kanaya his phone of course dies, sending all those pictures took up most of the battery after all, and Karkat just sort of stares down at his phone in disbelief after it dies.

 

Karkat breaks from his trance, and turns to John,

"Just give me your phone."

 

John hand flies to the back of his head as he sort of chuckles out,

"Sorry it's sort of dead, that's why I needed to borrow your for the picture."

 

"This is all that stupid fucking pictures fault, if you had never left to go take it we would still be in the group with a way to get home, but now I guess we're just going to be stuck here forever, absorbed into the park, I hear they need new dolls for It's a small world John, wouldn't that be great John, listening to that god awful song for the rest of your natural human life because you had to go take one fucking stupid picture."

 

"Dude being lost in Disney World is like the opposite of a problem."

 

"Are you even listening to me."

 

"C'mon back when I stormed off earlier when you and Dave's brother were being pretentious dicks I ran into Roxy and she gave me one of his credit cards."

 

"Wow, that's great, let me just add that into the book of things I don't give a fuck about."

 

"Karkat you don't understand, a Disney shopping spree."

 

"If you had that before why didn't you buy the buzz lightyear photo."

 

"Because I wanted to see you type in your password, it must be important if you keep it so secretive."

 

"That's, so what do you want to buy."

 

John then takes Karkat's hand and leads him down the path smiling as they walk along the road, starting to explain their options,

 

"Well we can go to one of the stands and get some cotton candy, or go to one of those sit down places I heard they have good english muffin, or communism, or there's this cute little place called pumpkin patch we could eat, or maybe you want to stop at the place with the rosemary spice."

 

"What was the middle one?"

 

"Pumpkin patch?"

 

"No the, never mind, let's go to the spice place it seems tolerable."

 

And so they made there way into the more princessy part of the Magic Kingdom and sat down and ordered a hell of a lot of food, and when John pauses for a moment from stuffing his face he looks and says,

 

"For a place everyone talks about it they're sure aren't a lot of people here."

 

"Maybe it's more of a seconded favorite restaurant, like everyone loves it, but they prefer to be somewhere else first."

 

"Yeah, and at least it has a full staff, I hear they had to shut down Beer Goggles because no one showed up for work."

 

"Get out."

 

"Yeah and that english muffin seems to be going down hill to."

 

"At least the coolkids place is still open."

 

To this statement John laughs and says to Karkat

"I know man, coolk1ds is my jam, red and djs and all that good stuff, pfft I bet Dave is there right now."

 

Then Karkat stands up almost flipping the table in the process,

"You're right John," and grabs John's arm to pull him out from the booth, "For once you're right!"

 

So once again they ran around the theme park, to lazy to get a map and run around in confused circles until the finally break and ask for directions, and upon doing so they almost instantly find the restaurant they were looking for.

 

"Okay now that you lead me here, would you mind explaining to me what's going on."

 

"Dave made, well I more or less made, a schedule for us to go on, and the schedule says at 9 o'clock that Dave and Terezi were going to the coolkid restaurant which means if we get in there we can find them and get home scotch free."

 

"Don't you need like reservations to get in there?"

 

"Oh fuck."

 

Then John goes in front him, having one of his pre-prankster smiles, and says with the tilt of his head,

"I have a plan."

 

And long story short they somehow managed to follow one of the princesses backstage put on the waiter clothes and entered the restaurant, which afterwards Karkat complained,

"Why couldn't we just wait outside for them?"

 

"Cause Karkat, that's boring."

 

The two are interpreted by a sharp voice telling them to get back to work and Karkat glares at John as he whispers at him to remember to smile.

 

"I'll fucking smile when your dick is ripped off."

 

"On the happiest place on Earth and you've been a dick all day, you're defying the laws of physics Karkat."

 

"Look I'll go and greet the new guests, you go around and look at the tables for any guests that could be our group."

 

"Roger that General Angry Pants."

 

Karkat only sighs and shakes his head as he heads over to the front and still doesn't smile for any of the people who come in, and they all give him uneasy glances.

 

Back on the other side of the room John begins to take orders,

"Salad and a diet water which up unti five seconds ago I did not know existed, anything else with your meal?"

 

"Well I could use your phone number."

 

"Well, um, that's, I can't really do that."

 

And the young hot blond sighs and ask why.

And he starts stammering so loud Karkat can hear him on the other side of the room, and he leaves his position and runs over there, but a little to fast and trip over the edge of one of the chairs and falls onto John, and the girl is just sort of staring at the cluckerfuck and John is starting to turn really red, but Karkat can't really pick himself up because his waiter apron got stuck on John's but he's starting to turn a bright shade of red and when the hear the angry loud person yelling at them for what's going on Karkat just goes, "fuck it" and slips out of the sgirt so he's not stuck to John anymore and grabs his hand and they run tothe entrance everyone in the building watching as the events spiral out of control, from Karkat and John jumping over the podium to bust out, to one person yelling "they don't even go here," to the three security guards running after them.

 

"Fucking hell John they're going to catch us, how could I have let you talk me into such a a stupid idea."

 

"I was just trying to have fun with you, and the security guards at Disney aren't so bad, I mean I dealt with the before."

 

Karkat grabs John's wrist and pulls him down a different street as they continue to run from the guys.

 

"Do you regularly break into theme parks or something?"

 

"No, it's just my dad took me to Downtown Disney once, they have Circus Soleil, and after he did a center thing, we ended running out of there, still ended up getting banned though."

 

"So insanity just runs in your family then."

 

"It's called having a little fun."

 

They run up until they find themselves up against a wall, the security guards closing in, Karkat still missing a shirt, and John about to flip the fuck out.

 

"Karkat if this really is the last time I see you I want to tell you,"

 

"Fucking hell we're only going to end up in Disney jail what do you think they're going to do?"

 

"Dad said they force you to right really bad sitcoms about upper class white families until you die."

 

"John you're really stupid and it's adorable."

 

"Why at least I'm not hot."

 

"That was the worse insult I ever heard."

 

"No, wait that came out wrong, I mean not that you are hot without a shirt, just that you are definitely not not hot."

 

"John I think the stress has gotten to you."

 

John takes a deep breath and takes Karkat's hand as they stand against the wall,

"I just want to say that I may or may not like you okay."

 

"John right now is not the time for one of your stupid pranks."

 

"But I swear it's not a prank!"

 

"Will you stop being such a vapid maggot for once in your life and take things seriously?!"

 

In retrospect confessing your love against the back of a wall about to arrested by Disney police was a bad idea, but John was sort of stuck on the idea they were going to die, maybe because he couldn't really handle hostile situations since the game ended and all, or maybe because seeing Karkat shirtless made him go "huh I guess I owe Dave five dollars then," or maybe it was because he saw Karkat type "John: as his password for his phone.

 

"Fine," John said taking Karkat by the shoulders,and looking him in the eyes, "I'll show you."

 

He leans in on Karkat kissing him in a way that made his heart soar, almost leaving his chest, and he pulls away, a small smirk on his face from the astonishment on Karkat.

 

And of course after doing that he gets a hit on the head from Karkat.

 

"You can't just do that."

 

"You likes it."

 

"How could some of your brain intelligence be able to make it so far in the game."

 

"You're just jealous me and Dave can fly and you can't."

 

"I don't give-"

 

And then he stops and John stops and they both kind of stare at each other for being such a fucking morons, and Karkat starts yelling at him to fly already and John smiles and picks him up in his arms and the security guards who had in the mean time gotten a hell lot of back up just sort of watch the kids go off and they turn to each other in disbelief and call it a night.

 

John finally stops upon the top of the castle, just in time for the fireworks to go off.

 

"So you actually like me John."

 

"My brain wasn't working properly back there."

 

"No longer Mr-Not-A-Homosexual huh?"

 

"Sexuality is stupid and you look decent without a shirt end of story."

 

But end of story doesn't stop John from taking Karkat's hand, it was different than the rest of the day, because now he knew what that feeling every time he reached for Karkat's hand was.

 

Karkat leans over and places his head on John's shoulder and says to him,

 

"You know getting lost isn't so bad."


End file.
